Write to Services@awkwardpaws.co.uk for more info.

•  Poetry Services

All - Eg. Birthdays, Weddings, Deaths, Going away presents, ...

• Consultancies

All - Eg. Happier lifestyles, sadder lifestyles, financial (saving money on pet food and leads etc), pet trends, fashion scouts (we have a finger in every pet pie and a stethacope on all the pet pulses). 

• Pet Funeral Services et al.

Hospitality

Poems

Epitaphs

Eulogies

Animal priests

•  Pet weddings

 

Love is in the hare - we dig gay animal marriage

Just like people, animals born out of wedlock frequently go to hell. Don't have a bastard under your roof. Like the Reverend Tyker said, ""WED THAT BULL TO THE WHOLE HERD! MAKE AND HONEST MAN OUT OF YOUR RAM.  THEY'VE BRED……GET THEM WED!
STAMP OUT ILLEGITIMATE CRITTER LITTERS!"

On a lighter note, Reverend Tyker is a fraud - he wares a collar for every occation other than the one that requiers it (in the eyes of God!). The biggot also wont marry people to animals or marry same-sex animals from Kentucky - we will do both! Indeed, we indeed specialise in same-sex animal weddings but love a good straight pet wedding too.

We also do pre-nuptual agreements and pet divorses (God forbid).

• Online cerimonies

Marriage, baptism, circumcision, etc

• Pet insurance

Pay us from as low as £1 for a year and recieve compensation in the form of poetry and chear-me-up snacks in the event of injury or death.

• Pet post

Ever wanted your/any animal to diliver a message to anyone over a distance that you or it cannot be bothered to walk? We'll make it happen.

 

NB: Contrary to popular belief we do not provide pet assasinations for legal reasons.